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Aaron N. Tubbs

Dragon chaser.

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Today I was accused of idiotic parking. In principle, I understand what the guy was saying — that high schooler in his camaro parked diagonally across six parking spaces is definitely a dick. However, I’m parking in an atypical way in order to maximize the ease of exiting and entering my vechicle, minimizing the risk of somebody opening a door into my vehicle, and causing no additional impact to the vehicles around me (other than something looking strange). To illustrate, here is the expected way to park in a corporate lot. Corporate lots try to maximize parking real estate by making the spots too small so that everybody gets their doors banged up and cannot escape. A lot of this is the fault of SUV’s, but there’s an intrinsic civil engineering breakdown at fault. Anyhow, here’s the diagram:

As you can see, myself in the red car, forced to park between a concrete column and a voluminous, slightly-over-the-line SUV, makes it impossible for me to exit my vehicle unless I climb through the window. If I or the passenger of said vehicle try to open our doors, we end up with dings and paint damage. That sucks!

Enter my genius solution. There is a wealth of dead space due to the concrete columns (illustrated in orange beelow), so let’s take advantage of it!

What’s going on here? Before you mention that I’m partially inserted into the car in front of me, pretend you didn’t see that.

  1. I have room to use all four of my doors.
  2. The person parked next to me has room to use at least the two doors on my side of his vehicle.
  3. The persons parked around me suffer no impact to their ability to park, and I would argue that by backing out in a clockwise manner, and entering in an anti-clockwise manner, they will actually be able to exit/enter the parking lot more easily (but should they want to pull in straight, there is no impact to their ability to do so, as the overall aperature has not changed in size. Again, in speculation, my being at an angle actually increases the available depth for initial cut-in on the turn, making life easier for everybody.
  4. I run much less risk of damage to the side of my vehicle.
  5. Better use has been made of the “dead space” created by the concrete columns.
  6. It is easier and safer for me to enter/exit my space with my vehicle.

Am I crazy? Am I parking like an idiot, or is this a more effective use of space?