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Aaron N. Tubbs

Dragon chaser.

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What if the spam I received was true:

“My boyfriend’s shaft is too big for my mouth!”

That would sort of be a downer, since that means “Miguel H. Graham” can’t give her boyfriend head now. See, she’s trying to sell me on how great a thing this is, but I’m left thinking that I can’t really envision a situation where that would be benefficial.

Luckily things improve once we move past the subject. Inside the email, I’m told that after taking Mega Dick for three months, my penis will be “excessively longer than [the] world.”

Now we’re talking. Not just longer, but excessively longer than the world. If only they’d made that the subject of the spam.