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Aaron N. Tubbs

Dragon chaser.

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I don’t know why things need to be so difficult. My Rock Band 2 wireless guitar’s strum bar gets stuck when I strum down; it was doing this a few hours into owning it. According to the box it came with, I am supposed to get service for the guitar through EA, not through my original, competent, retailer.

So, I go to the magical service web site, and it doesn’t work. There’s a warning at the top saying the site might not work and I should use IE or FireFox 2.0 instead of FireFox 3.0.

Or EA could fix this retarded shitty ajax monstrosity and just make a reasonable website that actually works.

I fill out the RMA stuff, and then it tells me I need to submit proof of purchase via fax or email under auspice of a separate hardware replacement RMA through the normal EA support website. I’m warned not to attempt to respond to my RMA incident, or to add stuff to my existing incident, because that may invalidate my request.

What the hell?

So I submit a separate support request and attach an image of my receipt. A few minutes later I get the response that my image was received, my warranty status was evaluated as being good, and I should receive the shipping kit/replacement shortly. Awkward and complicated, but at least things are moving. Or so I thought.

A week passes, nothing arrives. I go back to check my original RMA. There’s a comment saying my replacement has shipped and it provides a tracking number. Actually, it provides no tracking nuber, but it says it does. Kind of like this (dramatization):

Your tracking number is:

Next to my RMA there’s a bright red RMA failed indicator. The website says do not add comments or asks questions about your existing RMA, as this may delay processing, if you have questions please file a new ticket.

What. The.

So I file a new ticket asking, simply, why my RMA has failed. I get the following response:

We are sorry to inform you that, your RMA is failed,there was likely something wrong with the submission of the RMA or had an invalid address.I would like to
request you to create new RMA for the replacement of your item.

Uh.

So I try to file a new RMA:

The following Error(s) occurred:

You currently have an active replacement request in our system.

If you have questions regarding your previous request, please call us at 1 (650) 628-1001. Automated services and live agents are available by phone 24 hours per day.

So, I amended the third (if you’re keeping track) RMA complaining about this, and was asked to provide my shipping information, email address, alternate email address (!?!), and phone number.

Shame they don’t have this information somewhere like … in my original RMA.

So I do it. Then I get an email saying I need to prove that I am under warranty coverage.

Oh, no, you didn’t just…

So I send a nastygram about how I’ve already filed a confirmed RMA separately that does this, and on and on.

Supposedly the RMA process is now finalized and I’ll be receiving a replacement shipment soon. I don’t have high hopes.