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Aaron N. Tubbs

Dragon chaser.

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You kids have any hope after the technician mysteriously appeared at my apartment?. I hope so, because I’d like to crush your hopes.

He spent about an hour fiddling with stuff, and then said that the connection to the CO is good, but it’s not connecting, and “he doesn’t do Internet, just telephone.” It got better. “I tried calling my buddy, he’s in cable Internet installs, but he didn’t have any ideas either.”

Hell is home broadband.

I called the AT&T broadband support line. I spent a while fighting with the menu system, again none of my numbers worked, and it offered to get me somebody who could assist me. I was then told that the department was closed, and I should try calling back during normal business hours, between 8AM and 6PM eastern, Monday to Friday. It’s 10:45AM on a Friday. I’m no math major, but I think I’m inside that time frame.

I called another of the phone numbers provided to me, and four menus later I was on hold. Agent picked up relatively quickly (within 10 minutes, I didn’t track this one), and all I can hear is rap music. I can’t understand what she’s saying over the rap music. I try to explain this and she says I should try turning the volume up on my phone!

We eventually negotiate a protocol for discussing when her music is in a quiet groove, and she puts me on hold. I’m told that I will be getting a callback today with a new estimate of when the service will be activated. I wonder if the call is the technician that just showed up out of the blue, and inquire, why, by the way, did a technician show up out of the blue, unannounced, etc? Well, apparently that would have been told to me in the call I’m supposed to get later today. Maybe.

But the call later today will be an estimate, again, of when I might have service. I ask some questions about why I can’t just get an estimate now, whether than waiting for a call back, since I haven’t gotten callbacks the previous times they’ve promised them.

Every time I ask her a question that requires more than a “Yes” or “No” response, she pauses and goes silent for something like 20 seconds. Like that’s how long it takes her brain to process the words that have just come out of my mouth. I finally gave up after being confronted with the situation that she, like the previous agent, was locked out of any ability to escalate or transfer me to the appropriate department, since the account was already being handled by a specialist. Our polite fiction of a support call terminated with “I’m sorry, sir, DSL is not a guaranteed thing, and sometimes it just takes a few weeks, or even several months, to get it connected.” That pretty much sums it up, yes.