I was at the liquor store yesterday, buying some beer. I picked up some Burton Baton, some Festina Peche, and my favorite standby beer, some 60 minute. I took the day off, so I was doing this around 3PM.
When I reached the checkout, there was a crossing guard there. In Connecticut, we seem to have crossing guards at all of the busy school bus stops. Their job is to make sure cars stop and that kids don’t get killed, as far as I can tell.
Anyhow, as I mentioned, it’s 3-ish, and we’re at a liquor store, and the crossing guard is there. With his safety vest and stop sign and everything. Buying a hand-held bottle of vodka. The checker asked if he was done with his work for the day, and he muttered something about being cold. She had a look of horror and tried to clarify if he was done protecting kids for the day, and he got sort of belligerent and said something to the effect of “No woman, I’m cold!”